domingo, 29 de junio de 2008

The Way to Orgasm

http://www.amazon.com/Camino-orgasmo-sexualidad-femenina-secretos/dp/0684839865/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1214783304&sr=1-1




Second Encounter


The first to arrive are approaching the table with the cups of coffee and chattering rather animatedly. The first week has passed and the subject of the conversation is homework. I don’t interfere, deliberately; I am one more among them until the right time. I observe them without being noticed. I see enthusiasm in Mara’s face; resentment in Violeta’s; reserve in Loty’s. Andrea’s gaze is clear and inviting. Alicia and Wendy, like myself, observe. They look, smile, appear to say something, but stop.
The group of eight women, of various ages, is now gathered around me sitting on fluffy and colored cushions.

The attention is focused on Andrea, who is telling the group the result of her tasks.
- --I had a fantastic experience, I did everything. What Maxi and I liked the most was the bath[1]. We took ages in there, caressing, kissing, lathering, and we loved it. He is always touching me, and I am just lying there letting him do it; however this time I felt a lot of pleasure touching him. We haven’t felt such a connection in a long time. I enjoyed the reversed role; as I touched him I felt like I’d rediscovered his body. I had a wonderful time.
It is impossible not to listen to Patricia’s whisper; she insists on Violeta sharing her experience with the group.
--I was doing the genital observation exercise and I felt very comfortable, as I hadn’t felt in a long time. I was urged to touch myself but held it because I had the feeling that it was best to wait for my husband. When he arrived I proposed the bath exercise. His eyes glittered, he loved the idea. He prepared the warm bathtub with essences, and when it was ready, he took me with him. The bath was good, but when we got out of the water he started drying me up and… he was so horny! He wanted to have intercourse right there, on the spot, without any boundaries. Then, can you imagine what happened when I said no? He got mad, and we ended up arguing; he was furious and I was crying.
Deep silence set in. I realize the passive role Violeta had assumed; he prepared the bathtub, he took her there and he dried her up. She just stayed there, letting him do everything.
-What would you have liked to happen there, after the bath? - I ask.
Her surprise and silence are eloquent enough; Violeta doesn’t know what she desires. She just utters a protest.
-What bothers me the most is that he is only interested in intercourse; it is all he wants. He didn’t use to be like that.
-Stop complaining, at least he prepared the bath and played with you- says Wendy- I don’t even have someone to do that.
-The other day—I say to Violeta-- you evoked those early times of sexual fulfillment; you even said that you enjoyed great orgasms. That disappeared; I am interested in finding out when this happened.
-When we started having a sexual relationship.
-However… you had a sexual relationship. If not, how would you call the foreplay that took you to orgasm? A sexual relationship is not defined only by penetration.
-You are right, but I found penetration horrible; it was a great disappointment. It was so different from the foreplay of the beginning. I guess I lost the passion and pleasure of the first moments. I became completely dissatisfied; I couldn’t get turned on anymore. I felt I had fallen into a trap, like I was the victim of a lie that made me believe sexual intercourse was the ultimate life experience.
Cristina and Alice agree, it is evident that sexual initiation made an impact in their lives.
-The same happened to me – announces Alice out of the blue- At the beginning, with my husband, we kissed, touched and caressed each other for hours, we took the time to know ourselves to get involved with each other, and we enjoyed the sexual foreplay a lot. But we started losing that. Now there is just a couple of measly kisses and then intercourse. And after we are done, it is time to sleep. For Raul this is enough, but I need more.
Alice’s comment works like a trigger, everyone wants to be part of the conversation.
-Ahh, my God, if I could feel in bed as much as I felt in the hallway when we were dating! - adds Cristina.
-What happens is that during foreplay they caress you, they touch you, and they kiss you in the places that give you the greatest pleasure. Am I right? -asks Andrea. - But, with penetration you feel almost nothing. If the petting disappears, you better forget it.
It is time to tell them how much the lack of sexual knowledge has contributed to this situation. The broad majority of women get horny, essentially, with long caresses in their body and, after a while, in the vulva and clitoris. During penetration, when these stimuli are gone, the female excitement diminishes or completely fades away. Why don’t women ask for these caresses to be continued; why don’t they invite their partners to do it, or why don’t they caress themselves? On the contrary, many women just give up and accept the sexual encounter to be as the man dictates, resigning themselves to what they want. They fear that requesting moves for their pleasure might ruin the encounter, or even worse, lose their partner’s love.
-But men are not the same as us, they don’t necessarily know how to give us pleasure. Why don’t we help them, and help us, by suggesting where, how, or for how long we want their caresses. We can put our hand over theirs and slowly slide it to our sexiest target. Then, day by day, they will learn how we like to be aroused.
- That’s what I did- says a smiling Mara-. While I was doing the genital exploration[2], he came in. I was having a real good time so I didn’t feel like stopping. So I showed him how I was doing it, and how I liked it to be done. He observed me with careful attention, and then he undid his pants and started touching himself, and showing me how he liked it. My hands got entangled with his, we touched, we kissed, we licked each other… I had an intense orgasm. We continued, and he penetrated me while his fingers and my fingers were playing with my clitoris. I had my first orgasm with him inside.
Mara’s satisfaction fills the room with hope; the other girls are touched by her story.
I know that it won’t be so easy for some of them, but Mara’s experience can turn out to be a kind of model.
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Before saying goodbye I assign the homework for the next encounter. In other words, I give them all to better accomplish new pleasure.


[1] I had already assigned some homework. Exercises like: the sex muscle, body and genitalia observation, shared bath.
[2] Homework from previous meeting.

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